Real Talk with MandiLynn

Life is not ideal.

Love.

Many times in life you will find yourself having feelings for someone, someone who may or may not return said feelings. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal.

Sometimes being in love with someone who does not feel the same way as you do. It’s not a problem - you can fix those, this is almost like “it’s raining outside” - just have to deal.

Also, love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. I once gave a best friend, a birthday card, which read “Happy Birthday to my best friend” on the cover. On the inside however… it read “really you are like my 3rd or 4th best friend, but they don’t make cards for that” I often wonder if that was offensive. But if we know anything about me, it’s that I often wonder too much as it is.

Sometimes you find yourself in a relationship that doesn’t work out. If you belive in destiny then you have to know that things happen when they are meant to. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That’s the power of destiny.

The older I get (yeah I know all 23 years of old), the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love… and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever?

A lesson I am struggling to make a part of my daily life is; ”Deal with reality.” Don’t stop hoping, dreaming, etc. But just keep in mind that many times in this life, things are not ideal… it just is what it is. 

When you love and accept reality at the same time, you are forced to move on (whatever that means for you, sometimes moving on is simply moving forward).

When you deal with reality and move on without love, you take bitterness with you. When you love without dealing with reality, you hurt yourself. Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you’ll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.

I am of the mindset that prayer helps in all things. Pray and tell God that you need help, sometimes just that helps. Ask God to take this from you - and He will. Then continue to deal with reality. 

There is one more thing I can recommend when unrequited love or conflict is the case in which life is not idea; There are times when you may feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may just hurt you again, you don’t know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I’ve been able to get by these “weak” moments by writing down exactly what I’m feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don’t feel the need to call the person anymore.

You can never be happy, successful or content until you accept yourself as you are, love yourself for who you are, forgive yourself for decisions and actions that have brought you pain, never settle for anything less then what you desire and deserve

Time. 

There is never enough of it. We take it for granted. We do sometimes forget though, that there is A LOT of time. When you need to you should always allow yourself time to grieve and never force yourself to get over someone or something. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, cry, write about it, listen to sad songs. Soon you will feel so tired from hurting all of the time. You will be ready to move forward. 

Strength.

Some people might say to be strong means you can defeat any opponent who stands in your way. Others might say it has to do with relying on others to help you, but not too much so that you seem weak.

I think being strong means that you’re able to do things, unlike anyone else. You’d rely on people to help you, and with your allies, become stronger in a way that is different from what anyone could’ve imagined.

 

There is never an ideal reason one has to find strength.

I have been described as strong several times throughout my life, and not once was I happy to hear it. That doesn’t mean I resent it, or that I don’t think it’s true. I was able to become strong by getting to know myself. Get to know yourself honestly, admitting both your strengths and weaknesses and then accept them as they are. If something bothers you, you can work on changing it, but first you have to accept yourself as human and that it’s ok to make mistakes. I choose to remember, God loves me as I am and thinks I are perfect in my imperfections.

Only change things about yourself for yourself, not to satisfy the demands of any other person. Otherwise you lose who you are completely.

Accept others as they are and realize you do not need to change them and they do not need to live their lives as you would have them live their lives. If they have “failings”, it’s their right to hang onto those, even if they are not good for that person. If you don’t expect perfection of others, they can’t disappoint you.

Build on your strengths to become stronger.
Learn to find joy in little things.
Thank God for small blessings and good events in your life. I owe that tidbit of knowledge to a Miss Kelsey Caitlin Bates, who always finds a way to say exactly what everyone needs to hear. A test of how strong you are, is finding a way to reconcile within yourself when even the little blessings can’t out weigh the tragedies in life.  

Never be afriad to be wrong.