So, Here we are gang. It’s the beginning of yet another week, and all I can think about is how it has ONLY been a week since last week.
I have seen both sides of 6 a.m. far too many days in a row for my taste these past few weeks.
Sometimes you spend so much time thinking about things that you miss out on other things.
I am the kinda person who obsessively questions and rethinks every little thing.I mean think carefully about what you say to me. I will remember it. And by that I mean I WILL think about it over and over. I think about how you said it, why, what we were talking about before and after that made you think to say it. I think about the way you said it, where you were looking, what you were holding… every last thing.
I mean there are totes more important things to think about then what you say…
I mean my best friend from high school is having a baby in less than a week. The first part of the finale of my all time favorite book turned to movie series is coming out in less than a week. I need a job, my house is a disaster… etc.
But what I am thinking about is what all of you are saying. What are words anyway… I hate them almost as much as I hate people.
it’s true I hate people. I am an only child I like to be alone… but I NEVER am.
I am one of those people who say my best friend and I… and you have no clue who the friend is because I somehow hate people and have 7 best friends… I feel like to have 7 people you consider your most important people you have to have at least 30 or so super important people and twice as many just important people not to mention everything below that…. UGH. its absolutely exhausting.
Sometimes you meet someone though… and you just know right away that that person is something else… super fucking special ya know… and they are like meant to be there, meeting them serves some sorta… well purpose. Maybe you’ll learn a lesson, who knows maybe that person helps you figure your life out. It could be a rommate, a teacher, friend or even a stranger….But you talk to them listen to what they say… then it happens… you start to think about things… AGAIN.
Shit happens… horrible, painful, unfair stupid shit always happens… to everyone. Captain Hindsight and his asshole friends Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda step up to the plate and fuck up your week just like they did the last time you were blogging and thinking about dying your hair at 4:00am. Everyone tells you it will be okay… this too shall pass but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or if I can be super cliche heart.
It’s like small tests… if life was easy… it would be well easy… safe and comfortable… smooth and evenly paved… but dull and utterly pointless.
So back to the things people say… or even just the people… they affect your life, your success and downfall…
They help you create yourself… who you will become. Most people say even the negative people and experiences have an impact… “even” is not the right word… I feel its these experiences that are the most important… something about trauma that sticks with us… we always remember things more vividly if we were the ones hurt or embarrassed.
If someone loves you… you are expected to love them back… why?
If someone hurts you… you are supposed to forgive them… fuck that. I don’t need to learn about trust… or the importance of being cautious to opening my heart….
Make every day count… I hate counting and I HATE MATH…
Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. EH….
Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say. Why I have enough people to listen to.
Fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. okay… I’ll get right on that… the possibility of rejection and pain aren’t stressful… This should be great!
Have no regrets… And if you love someone tell them… you never know what tomorrow may have in store…. BLAH BLAH BULLSHIT BLAH…
Think About it? Was it worth it?
What I am trying to say is this. I care about everything far too much to be so very apathetic.